Penny's little corner of the web

The Stuff Of Dreams

2012-01-17T18:58:00.008Z

For about half of my life I had a trick that was better than counting sheep at bed-time.

I'd imagine what it would be like to dress up as a woman, properly. Before long I'd drift off to sleep, but disappointingly never got much beyond putting on a few items of underwear.
What was worse, although I frequently had dreams - in full colour, since you ask - they sadly never seemed to pick up where I left off when I fell asleep.

Once in a while you read about people who have found a way to drop into 'lucid dreaming' where anything is possible and you get to control it. You know, flying, meeting God, that kind of thing. For me, nada. Never mind. I reckon I found something better anyway.

And the funny thing is, once I had really dressed up properly, make-up, wig, proper padding and nice clothes that were all my own, I didn't need to imagine it any more instead of counting sheep.

So for the past few years I haven't needed to think about what it might be like - because I know.

And aint it great? Nothing beats the real thing, in my book.
I feel really sorry for the poor saps who haven't tried it. 8-)

Does dressing up do it for you?

Nerves - What nerves?

2012-01-02T15:00:00.001Z

Well, Christmas is over and we are all looking forward to a new - and hopefully better year.

This little book, from the 'Keep Calm and Carry On' stable appeared under our Christmas tree...

On the first page, there is the text:
'Courage is being scared to death - but saddling up anyway.'

I thought - 'how appropriate!'.

I expect you know that huge rush when you are about to leave the safety of the house after what was probably several hours of preparation. Maybe there is a quick dash to the car, but whatever it takes, you quickly learn to master the fear and despite the shredded nerves, you head out.

And what a feeling! Suddenly you have a new persona and - for a while - you can just enjoy being someone else.

Going out 'en femme' has all sorts of fringe benefits.
For example I decided to buy my wife some of those small bottles of Eau De Toilette that M&S have loaded onto their shelves. (I know, last of the big spenders!) I had already asked a girl behind the desk what she thought of them and she had said that they were great, so that decided it.

First attempt, in bloke mode, I tried one sampler and what seemed like half a pint squirted onto the back of my hand. Aargh! Two problems - I didn't like it much and the smell was now so strong that I couldn't smell the others. Back to the drawing board!

However, when visiting M&S as Penny, I was able to do a more thorough survey. After much deliberation I came away with three bottles and a handful of other items to go under the tree.
(And all without having to worry about my colleagues in the office breathing the fumes and wondering why suddenly I was using perfume!)

I rather enjoyed shopping for Christmas presents this year!

How did yours go?

It happened AGAIN!

2011-12-21T17:46:00.006Z

Just a trip to the supermarket.
No not really 'just' - since I went as Penny in my girl jeans.

No frocks - well, to be exact there was a little Gok Wan number (I use the term little advisedly; it was size 10. Is anyone that small?) but of course it was the last one. Bother.

One teenage girl outside the supermarket made me smile. I normally avoid them (as they often dissolve into giigles) but this one looked at me for a moment followed by a quick glance down to the jeans. I think maybe, in the parlance, it was 'meh'. A result.

And on the way home I stopped at a small M&S food shop - supper for just over £5 - what's not to like? And the tattooed be-muscled young man at the counter called me 'madam'. Such a gentleman!

I'm completely sure that most people looking at me will have 'read' me, but then again nothing happened. Most people don't seem to notice anything.
I am formulating a theory.

I reckon it's necessary to have enough room for reasonable doubt that people can treat you as a woman without feeling daft.
Whatver it is, it seems to be working for me!
How does that sound? Any of my select group of readers have similar feelings?

Now, I really must get on with those Christmas decorations.
Bye for now!

p.s. see what you think:

Shopaholic Reloaded

2011-12-20T21:24:00.006Z

The lady in M&S was lovely. She called me 'madam' twice!
Another Tranny first for Penny.

Actually I think she was just being nice. We had a slightly rambling converation taking in glass nail files and Aldi.

As you can see from the bags, I found a few things, small gifts for Christmas mostly, but the gift to me was how easy it seems to have become to go out 'en femme'. Truly the secret is confidence, that and a smile. I even got a couple of smiles back!

The lady at the Clinique counter was very kind about my eye liner and gave me some tips on how to put it on. Gone is the brush in a tube - you now get a tiny pot full of black paint and a miniscule brush. The bristles are short and flat; she said to just use the very tip of the brush and dab it on in a fine line at the root of the lashes. Hers was certainly extremely neat. 8-)

Is it just me, or are there almost no dresses in the shops? There are a few dull sacks with cover-all necklines. We got a lovely one in burgundy velvet for my dear wife a month or two back (M&S, natch) but there's nothing like it in the shops now. You'd have thought that this would have been the time of year for nice frocks, but then maybe everyone is watching the pennies. I suppose I am too.

At the end of the day I was all in and stopped for a cup of tea and a cake at the cafe in Tesco. Very welcome it was too. No funny looks, everyone just nice.

Actually, confidence comes at a price. Everything has to be 'just so'. Getting ready is part of the fun, but does take ages. But then it's hard to beat that feeling when you pull on the last bit of clothing and step out!

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a tree to put up and some presents to wrap.
Happy Christmas everyone!

On buying makeup

2011-12-09T20:17:00.002Z

Another day, another trip to Boots, but this time I bought some make-up.

(Clinique, since you ask..) The funny thing is that I'm finding it fairly easy to buy a couple of items when in bloke mode - the assistants are always very helpful, though this time it was quite funny - the young lady kept asking whether they were a gift (no). I guess she was on auto-pilot and kept thinking she had forgotten to ask. No free gifts this time, but there was money off which is always welcome.

An odd thing happened when I came out of the shop. Firstly, I felt happy, not at all on edge. Secondly, several women smiled at me - not something that happens all that often in the street.

Maybe I had a silly grin on my face. Can't imagine why!

Vanity, thy name is...

2011-12-04T19:01:00.005Z

This weekend I made a discovery.

I have been at my wit's end trying to find our why my eyes are often more pink than white. This really doesn't matter much most of the time (though I am a bit worried that some permanent damage is being done).
No, it's just that Penny really doesn't look all that great with bloodhound-effect eyeballs. 8-) Vain, moi?

It's not the eye makeup that's doing it, I can assure you. (I don't get to use it all that often.)

And yes, I know about eye makeup remover. Get that in your eyes and it really hurts. I discovered this with 'Simple' eye makeup remover - the result was truly spectacular. After that I have been using Clinique 'Take the day off' eye makeup remover which is much much kinder. (Like Meg I'm a fan of Clinique. Pricey but nice! )

As a bonus it also gets off stubborn mascara. A few weeks ago I was able to rescue my wife who was struggling with waterproof mascara - I donated my bottle of Clinique to her, how gallant is that?

So, where was I? Oh yes, the discovery.
I think it's the water in the shower, combined with shampoo and/or conditioner that is making my eyes go so pink.
Scraping the bottom of the barrel for ideas, I borrowed my daughter's old Speedo swimming goggles and amazingly, they kept all the water out and my eyes are immediately a lot, lot better. Wearing goggles in the shower looks pretty eccentric, but it's all in a good cause. The only real downside is that it makes shaving a bit harder... you can't see all that well.
Things you'll do when you have the motivation, eh?

The Tomb Of The Unknown Craftsman

2011-11-20T22:23:00.007Z

On Saturday I went with my wife and daughter to Grayson Perry's exhibition at the British Museum, 'The Tomb Of The Unknown Craftsman'. There is a short video on the museum web site which is worth watching.

For those of you not familiar with Grayson, he is a potter, artist and cross-dresser who notoriously accepted his Turner Prize wearing a frock. His exhibition was colourful and thought-provoking and I thoroughly recommend it. It's on until February 2012.

He has collected together all kinds of things, new and old, some his own work but mostly from the British Museum's own store rooms. All show care and attention to detail, a love of work beyond mere utility. They show just how clever and hard-working craftsmen have been for millenia.

Here is another of his pots.

And the centre-piece of the show, a cast-iron model of a ship - the tomb itself.

Sadly photography was not allowed so no snaps by me I'm afraid.

Grayson is quite open about his cross-dressing. ( Good for him, I say, though I do think someone should get him a better wig!)

He referred in one small exhibit to the Chevalier d'Éon de Beaumont who lived in 18th century France and England and was notable for being able to pass easily as a woman. He was a favourite of king Louis XV of France (for a while at least) and was dispatched to Russia as a spy - infiltrating the court of the empress as a lady-in waiting. He had a long and complicated life and could be, as Grayson notes, quite macho, being very good with a sword and fighting in the French military. The Beaumont Society, a UK society for cross-dressers and transgender folk is named after him.

Sadly, going to London as Penny was not on the cards, though it would have been an appropriate nod to the work that Grayson Perry put into the exhibition. Long may he prosper.

Has anyone else been to see the exhibition?
Do you like the British Museum? (I do!)

Do let me know your thoughts!

21 Again!

2011-10-05T08:01:00.003+01:00

We have many rites at my office - one is taking in cakes on your birthday and another is obfuscating the email announcing them in what passes for the kitchen.

So, I was 21 again (like my colleagues, you will have to guess the number base...) and one was kind enough to say that I didn't look 129 at all!
Actually we did have a longer conversation in which he hinted strongly that I didn't look my age.

Almost tempted to believe him.

We cross-dressers have a secret weapon - which even works some of the time - namely that extra motivation to keep the weight down a bit and look after the skin, at least the parts that show. It's funny how yet another crack on the head, blood etc causes me little irritation, but a new blemish on the face or leg is a big deal. 8-(

Never mind, we all have to make it through somehow.

A new public profile

2011-07-06T20:58:00.006+01:00

Today, another first!

I was emailed by a work contact in Taiwan requesting that I talk to him using Skype. So naturally I set up an account, ordered a headset and when it came, fired up Skype.
It worked a treat! His message back said 'Oral English not good' so we just typed messages to each other. Never mind, I can use the headset to listen to music...

Playing with my profile I realised that I needed a photo. And for the first time in my life I actually put up a photo of myself in bloke mode.

For a daft few moments I contemplated how easy it would have been to fish Penny's picture off the web and use that, but of course I used my bloke picture from our company intranet. How boring.

It would have been fun to have my 'usual' on-line picture but I fear that explaining it would have been too much work, not to say problematic in the work-place.
Ah me, back into the closet then!

Anyone else had a similar experience?

A Transport of Delight

2011-06-28T19:41:00.017+01:00

What's the ideal Tranny Transport?
In an ideal world I suppose we'd all drive an open-top blue metallic Mercedes. (With cream leather seats!)

But just think of the slipstream... How would it feel with mascara running down your face and your wig stuck in a bush 20 feet above the M25?

No.
Practicalities rule. Now maybe the ideal tranport would be a camper van. (For those of you in the US, think small RV.) Pull the curtains and you have the perfect portable changing room. Unfortunately, despite the surf crowd adopting them, camper vans are the most un-cool transport imaginable.
And slow! We used to follow one to work every day, drum kit in the back and CB mike swinging from the rear-view mirror.
No, definitely no.

It would so good to have something outrageous, like Lady Penolope's Rolls, but attracting too much attention might be a big mistake. Sometimes you really need to blend and pink is not good for that. Also it is bound to attract unwanted attention from traffic wardens...

What do women actually drive? Well, more or less anything, though the younger smarter ones seem to have smaller, neater cars (Clio, Mini). So, if like me you are a bit on the large side you need to scale up by 20% and choose a smallish 4-door hatchback.
You may in fact already be driving the ideal car. Though if it has go-faster stripes and infantile megaphone exhaust you might be a little far from the mark.
And avoid sun-roofs. They will light you up like a shop display.

Aircon

Fortunately these days most cars have some kind of aircon. This is absolutely essential for a Cross-dresser wanting to keep their cool. It can get pretty hot in there and the last thing you need when feeling a bit warm is a hot car!

Change the number plates!

No, seriously, have you looked at your number plates? They almost certainly have the phone number of your garage on them. Bit of a dead give-away? You bet! There is an easy fix, though. Plates can be ordered on-line with no paperwork. Just go to a site like Plates For Cars, type in your reg and hey presto! Something I did not know: the text along the bottom of the plate is supposed to say who made it. However, there is nothing to stop you ordering it with the word 'Toyota' there instead (assuming your car is, of course).
The plates are dead easy to fit, by the way. Just be careful not to break the plastic screws that hold them on, or you will need to visit a car spares shop and buy some more.

Remove that parking sticker

Yes, you probably have a sticker for the company car park in the window. Best to remove that, temporarily. Now take a look at the tax disc? Did you get it from the local post office? Oh dear. Maybe next time get it by mail, or go to a post office a bit further away. And did you get the tax disk holder free with the car, compete with another advert for the garage? Time to get a generic holder from Halfords!
Finally, take a critical look at the location of the licence holder. If there is some text that you want to make harder to read casually, see if there is any writing on the inside of the windscreen that you can 'accidentally' position the tax disk behind.

Paranoid? Who? Me?

Just because you are paranoid, it doesn't mean that they aren't out to get you...

Pre-flight checks

Seriously, though, you really don't need your car to let you down, so attention to detail is well worth it. And check the tyres, widscreen wash and fuel.
Make sure the interior light is properly off. (You don't want it popping on when you get in or out, now do you?) If you need glasses to drive, put a spare pair in the glove box and for heavens sake always carry a spare key on you, somewhere.

Happy motoring!

p.s.
For those who may be too young to remember them, the title is a refernce to Flanders and Swann's song about a London Bus, like these.

The accidental photograph

2011-06-14T19:46:00.015+01:00

Ever pressed the shutter on your camera and realised that the self-timer was not set? Did you occasionally, by accident, capture a moment which you'd otherwise have missed?

The other night after a trip out I grabbed a few snaps and this one happened all on its own:

Although it is a bit blurry I nonetheless liked it.
I suppose I was also relieved to see that without rearrangement the general shape and appearance was, well, pleasing.

I can tell myself that perhaps I did not look all that bad after all!

By the way, I was using my new tripod. Most tripods are either too small or heavy or both, and nearly all won't pack short enough to fit onto a cupboard shelf.

This one was a gem - it's a 5-section 785B by Manfrotto and it came from Jessops. It packs to under 450mm and is light. I think there is now a similar, newer model in the shops. Grab one if you can!

How to buy a wig

2011-06-04T15:31:00.012+01:00

Oh, if it was as easy as popping into the local shop and coming out with the perfect wig!

Web or shop?

I guess many of you have a local wig shop and have dithered about whether to go in and risk a face-to-face with a (surprised) acquaintance. Or maybe you should buy mail-order? It could be a lot cheaper. Or go to one of the big shops in London, or Manchester, or wherever.

For what it's worth, I recommend the last one. Local shops will have a very limited stock and while you might get lucky, you are quite likely to end up with a wig that doesn't quite work. There are quite a lot of shops opening now that specialise in up-market party wigs. These are probably best avoided.

However, if you are lucky enough to have found a local group that has contacts with someone who will get wigs for you to try, this could work very well.

Decide what sort of wig

Short or long? Dark or blonde? Choose a colour that will be credible. There is no point in having a fantastic wig if it makes you look like a truck driver or Dolly Parton. If in doubt choose a darker or more muted shade, as this won't shout 'tranny wig'. Look for a shape that will complement your face. You may find if you have a delicate neck that a short wig will work well. On the other hand shoulder length may work better of you have a heavy neck. Look at what women your age do with their hair and use that as a guide.

Hitting the shop

So, if you want to do the shop thing, do your research. Collect pictures of likely looking wigs from the on-line shops and add any photos of yourself that might help. Put them on your phone or personal organiser and head down to the big shop. I gravitated to Hot Hair and found them very agreeble and discreet. Avoid the shops that just have a rack in the middle of a department store - you will need a quiet area with a chair and a mirror. If you are unsure, give the shop a call. Be up-front about what you want, ask nicely if this is ok (it will be) and ask what the shop is like and what their stock is.

Go for a wig with a 'mono top'. Monofilament is a jazzy term to describe how the fibres are embedded individually in a soft resin layer, rather than sewn into a net. The effect is very natural and the hairs fall away from this area to one side or the other in a pleasing way. Of course this means that the style is fixed, but you pay much, much more for a wig that can be styled like real hair. Once you have seen a wig with a mono top, it's very easy to spot wigs without. You can either see traces of the stitching, or the hairs will sprout from an improbably neat crown with no hint of scalp on show.

Bear in mind that when you see the actual wigs they will look nothing like the photos. The pictures on the web are teased and styled into shape and are just a guide. Check that the colour effect is really what you want. Highlights that look great in a photo can look cheap close to. Check that the length and shape works with the size of your head and with your face.
Chat to the assistant and ask them what they think. They want to sell a wig of course, but they may have wise words of advice too. Ask them to hold up a mirror so you can see the side and back views.

Budget

Cost is a very hard one. My advice is to pay as much as you dare. In fact, a better wig makes more difference than all the clothes and makeup put together. Just like own hair, you wear it every time, so it had better be right. As a guide, something good can be had for £150. If you are paying less than £100 it might just be an expensive party wig. Having said that, times are hard and some prices may have crept down.

I have also written some notes on how to look after your wig (link).

'Scuse me luv!

2011-04-15T19:44:00.006+01:00

Today was shopping day. One of those large indoor shopping centres that makes up for lack of character by being safe and having lots of nice shops. Including John Lewis and Marks.

The Denim skirt was creeping up in a most annoying manner so I bought a slip in Marks and borrowed one of their changing rooms to put it on. The lady minding the room was so nice and also offered a tip: rub some hand-cream on the tights near the top of your legs to stop them sticking to the skirt. That and the slip seemed to do the trick very nicely.

I also tried on a dress that was to die for, but I chose too small a size and was getting too hot to go around again! No, the picture is not me, but don't you agree the dress is something?

Well, all good things have to come to an end, and as I was going back to the car park, a voice below my right ear said 'Scuse me luv, do you know where the station is?'.

Knock me down with a feather! I said sorry but I didn't have a clue. I could see his brain slip a couple of cogs and I had to repeat my reply. Well, now, dear Reader, he could have been trying it on, just to hear me speak, but I don't think so. Well!

Just for the record, here is a picture of me, on the way home.

A trip to the country

2011-04-14T18:31:00.003+01:00

A very well manicured bit of the country, as it happens.... Ploughed fields are not really my cup of tea.

Since it was quiet I was able to take some piccies - this one I particularly liked.

As ever, people are either very kind or not very observant. Either way, nobody bothered me and I had a jolly good walk in the fresh air.

What does my reader think? Better than shopping?

D'Oh!

2011-04-03T20:22:00.004+01:00

Sometimes I worry that I am a little too much like Homer Simpson.
No, I'm not yellow, but the old brain cell sometimes struggles a bit...

Actually I am really rather more like Wallace. (As in Wallace and Gromit.)

I did some comparison photos and the likeness was shocking.
My wife however is definitely NOT like Wendolene and my daughter bears no resemblance at all to Princess Fiona (green version).
8-)

Sex change of sorts - An apology

2011-02-17T12:39:00.003Z

An apology is due to my reader* for lack of activity on this blog.

This is partly because of (ahem) lack of activity, but also because of a sex change of sorts - we dumped all the old annoying PC kit and converted to Mac. (You should have seen the pile of twisted metal and circuit boards that went off to the tip -sorry- recycling centre!) Taken a while to shake the new kit down, but worth it.

I'm going to resist going on and on about how wonderful the Apple kit is, suffice it to say that going back is not an option.

Oh yes, and if you are tempted to buy a Netgear NAS, don't, don't don't. Though less than 6 months old that went too, replaced with a Time Capsule that just worked out of the box. (The NAS ate our data, though thankfully it did condescend one backup before siezing up completely. The disks were ok, once reformatted.

And while you are here, why not leave a quick comment, just to say hello?
No need to log in or leave your name, though initials would be nice.

* just checked the Google stats and if you are reading this then you are indeed in a small but select group 8-)

Magic pixie dust

2010-09-27T16:19:00.003+01:00

Do you have souvenirs? I have a few things that I bought while out dressed and for me they have a light dusting of magic pixie dust. Nobody else can see it of course. The other day our sysadmin siezed a fine-line pen from my desk and used it to scrawl a note on a post-it. He made some comment about not breaking it and for a mad moment I considered what his reaction might be if I told him how I came by it.
My favourite souvenir is the kettle, bought in Tesco quite a while ago and still making excellent tea. (I think of it as the T kettle.)

A week or two ago while discussing staff photos with the same sysadmin, I stumbled upon the fact that one of my colleagues in the US office had apparently decided to become a woman. (Not wishing to be unkind, but he is not the most promising material.) It piqued my interest so I pressed the point, my view being 'good luck to him/her' and got an interestingly confused response. Even in these enlightened times we step very carefully around the gender stereotypes and get nicely tangled up with the pronouns.

I suppose some of the best things are clothes and make-up that I have bought while out dressed. Browsing is much more comfortable than when in bloke mode and trying things on is so much easier, being the right shape and so on.

My camera case mildly is interesting, in that I bought it in the ordinary way, but attached to it was a card with a picture of an alleged 'fairy' who would protect my camera.
So far he/she has worked. 8-) Looking at the colour of his toes I did wonder whether it was Lynn doing a bit of moolighting...

How to manage your beard

2010-09-15T07:49:00.005+01:00

Yes, unfortunate reality, but shaving is one of life's little niggles. Actually I think in practice it is the thing that limits the time one can spend en femme without looking a mess.
For years I was a Philips fan, but the quality has plummeted since they outsourced to China. I'm now using a Braun series 5 shaver which comes with a cleaning tank - neatly answering the major worry of how on earth to clean the thing without wrecking the foil.

Picture courtesy Amazon, who had by far the best price, I'm afraid.
(Don't be tempted by the cheaper series 3. It has been re-designed and there are serious issues with quality.)
Result: I now find that with careful shaving I can add at least 2 hours to the time that my beard stays under control, which is not to be sneezed at.
One bonus of having the cleaning tank is that if you use the shaver straight out of the cleaner, the trace of alcohol on the blade seems to make it cut even closer.

And finally, Penny's advice is to buy a spare cutting head in advance - they do gradually lose their edge and changing it every so often really is worth the money. Happy shaving!

Not a picnic

2010-08-08T21:26:00.003+01:00

Today was almost perfect for an outing - sun, a light breeze, but a touch too warm. Hooray for aircon in the car! Sadly, being a Sunday, shopping was not going to be an option but the day seemed too good to waste. Off to a local market town.

After wandering about a bit, I was very pleased to find that there was easy access to the grounds of the nearby English Heritage house. It felt good to be able to walk in the sun and breathe fresh air.
Lots of dog walkers, all very polite. One of a group of lady dog owners gave me a smile, which felt so good. On the way back to the car park three small boys on little bikes zipped into view and veered past. One of them said, sotto voce, "it's a man, it's a man!" which I took to be a reference to myself. Sweet really, but it did make be wonder quite what is such a dead give-away.

Ok, big shoulders, very tall, boxer's hands, adams apple, wide neck, take your pick. Only I'd like to know. Answers on a postcard please!

Yes, and the camera is a Panasonic TZ6. Brilliant little camera.

A big night out

2010-04-18T20:38:00.007+01:00

Last week I finally made it to Chams in Nottingham. A bit of a trek, but worth it!
Everyone was so nice.

After so long dipping into Lyn's blog, I thought it high time I stepped out and met a few fellow trannies. You may recall the potter Grayson Perry who was notorious for wearing a frock when he received the Turner Prize. He was interviewed on the radio and amongst other things he remarked on what a shock it was when he actually came face to face with another man dressed as a woman.

Having negotiated Nottingham's Ring Road without mishap, I drove into the car park, mindful of Grayson's remarks and also aware of how scary other people have found their first night out. As I passed the window at the back I could see a group seated at a table and noted with relief that they looked like normal folk. Different shapes and sizes, but no antennae. 8-)
As soon as I entered the door ('Hi! are you Chameleons?') I was welcomed in by a lady (a real one) who offered me a cup of tea and showed me where to make myself comfortable. No time for fear. In fact the only really strange thing was that it was not really strange at all. The conversation ebbed and flowed just as it would in the pub. There was a certain wicked freedom in knowing everyone was in the same boat, more or less, and that the topic which normally had to be self-censored was absolutely not off-limits.

It's worth noting that two folk had brought their wives along - or maybe vice-versa - which was lovely and made the evening feel very much like any other social outing. I'll also mention in passing that not all of the men there were dressed - mainly because of time pressure - but this did not seem to matter at all. The camraderie was what counted.

On the way back I stopped off to stretch my legs at a Tesco, being relatively safe and open all night. While I was there I checked out the sale rack and was delighted to find a green top which I think sets off my M&S skirt rather well. See what you think.

I took these photos the following day, so I'd have a record of what I looked like. But I do have a copy of a photo taken by Lynn on the night to prove it!

The camouflage skirt is a dream, but it does crease rather easily, especially on an extended car trip. Actually, the boots are rather good too, though finding ones that fitted was a long process and I'd rather not discuss how much they cost. Hopefully they will last.

Here's looking forward to a return trip to Chams!

The Smile

2010-01-30T11:50:00.006Z

Do you put your wig on in front of the mirror? And if you do, do you find yourself smiling back at yourself as you do it?

I'm assuming that if you are reading this you probably wear a wig from time to time. Unless of course your hair is there in all its glory (lucky you!). Mine was lamentable, (a so-called friend at college likened it to a brillo pad) so losing most of it was not such a big deal.

Anyway - this smile - it seems to come naturally. I think that part of it is the recognition of somebody looking back out of the mirror and part of it is the sheer pleasure of the transformation that the hair brings. Putting makeup on is a pretty gruesome process - part-way through you look like something from a Frankenstein film - but when the wig goes on it all comes together and can, on a good day, look pretty stunning.

I have tried many times to capture the smile on camera but it doesn't quite seem to work. Maybe giving a natural smile for the camera is something that comes with practice.

This photo is the nearest that I have come so far.

Actually, smiling is a knack that some people seem to have. Certain people just light up the room. How do they do it?

Yikes!!

2009-11-21T14:10:00.005Z

Today I did something scary.

I typed 'Penny Clare' into Google and lo - on the first page there are not one but two hits.

I thought I had a pretty low profile, but Google sees everything.... Admittedly one of the hits was for my Flickr page, which is properly named (no extra numbers or stuff like that) but the other was just a randomly chosen entry from my blog.

A reality check that the Internet really is a truly public place. We should all be thankful that Google has an open and creative company culture. Long may it remain so.

(May 2011) At this point there was a link to Becky's blog, but she has since gone offline, moved onto other things.

It's worse than I thought...

2009-10-22T19:35:00.006+01:00

Honestly, I didn't realise things were this bad.
Idly cruising the Torygraph web site, I stumbled on a Fashion page. Miles of it, like this:

And right at the bottom, there's a token feature on clothing for men...

Words fail me.

One way to liven up the shopping

2009-10-10T22:09:00.002+01:00

Tesco in the evening is not the most sought after destination but the cupboard was a little bare, the kettle had expired and, well, those new jeans needed a test drive. Also I have surprised myself by being converted to cardigans - though not the sort that Jasper Carrot pokes fun at - so armed only with my trusty handbag and a credit card, I went shopping.

The jeans feel great on, and although I don't really believe for a moment that I 'pass', I hope that the effect is ok at a casual glance. I always have to ask where things are, and this occasion was no exception. The staff were helpful and kind, one even returning my smile as I re-passed the end of her aisle.

Slightly sticky spot at the checkout - long queue for the self-service tills and a teenage girl had uncontrollable giggles. Her boyfriend was stony faced but neither bothered me. Quite wistful as I pushed my trolley full of goodies to the car, the evening's entertainment almost over.

Apart that is, for a well-earned and much awaited cup of tea, courtesy of the new kettle.

Full Marks

2009-08-19T20:44:00.002+01:00

Had a happy Saturday browsing in the shops followed by a brief visit to a mystery location.
M&S get full Marks, both for content and for customer service. The young girls 'guarding' the changing room seemed to be having a blast and were quite lovely when I breezed up and asked to try on a skirt. At least when you are dressed up there is no doubt as to why you would want to try such a thing on. 8-) And yes, I did buy it.

I really had quite a good time at the shops but you too would feel a banana pulling out a tripod in the high street, so off to a mystery location it was. The silly grin must have hung around - it took several attempts to get myself framed properly and in the process I got a few conspiratorial grins back from passers by. Not much explanation needed, but then why wouldn't somebody want a photo of themselves with a backdrop like this?

Shopaholic

2009-08-04T22:34:00.003+01:00

Yes, I did make it to the M&S sale and yes, the pickings were pretty thin.
It was also one of those days that would have been pleasantly warm if it was not also very nearly raining as well. I must confess that I felt a little over-dressed.
I had been looking forward to trying on something in the shop; the novelty of guessing which size to buy and then taking back wears thin quite quickly. Before you ask, plan A was to brazen it out, plan B to carry whatever to the men's changing room. In the event it was a decent walk from the car park to the shop and by the time I got there I was glowing rather too much. Pity.
As others have reported, the vast majority of people either show no interest or are polite. Shop staff were uniformly professional and helpful. I found that smiling helps a lot. Also, avoid making eye contact with teenagers, particularly the girls.

I took the pretty way home and bagged a corny picture. I look a bit of a pudding, which is an achievement of sorts, since I am over 6 feet tall.
Also, I must learn to stand with my feet closer together, more ladylike. Nevertheless, here it is.

Actually, I think I got lucky. Today I stopped at TKMax, hope springing eternal, and a pair of jeans shouted 'buy me'. The changing rooms were reasuringly quiet and the jeans seemed to fit. At home I have tried them on again and they seem too perfect. Given the stuggle I have finding boy jeans which fit me, this is a bit hard to credit, but it happened. Lucky me, I guess! 8-)

T time

2009-08-02T17:45:00.003+01:00

Got a chance today to grab some photos. Lighting is a headache, our house faces south but has no decent windows that catch the sun.
So, the hair is a bit better, though I say it myself. And the Next blouse exceeded expectations. So crisp.

Just love the colour of this cardigan. It would go nicely with some brown jeans - perhaps the sales will yield something though I fear that most of the good stuff will have been hoovered up by now. M&S was bedlam last week. 8-)

Notice the glasses? Frameless with bendy side pieces made out of some kind of memory metal. No hinges. So light that you hardly know that you are wearing them. What was I doing wearing all those heavy clunky things for so many years?

Male Order

2009-06-29T19:14:00.003+01:00

I have been (ahem.) updating my rather small wardrobe.
First, the good news: M&S get full marks for their refund policy and, I have to say, for their mail order packaging too. Those green bags are tougher than they look and of course it's rather hard to see what's in them...
If only I could be as nice about Next.
It all started ok. I suppose it's just as well that they insisted on delivering to my home address, otherwise the rather thinly disguised, rather large jacket and blouse would have been a bit difficult to explain in the office. Anyway, my wife was very nice about having stuff left on the step and we've agreed that ordering more from Next is not a good idea. Also just as well it didn't rain, since I'm not sure they would have been keen to give a refund on a wet jacket. C'est la vie.

If I Were a Boy

2009-03-05T18:18:00.005Z

The local 'girl pop' radio station has been playing that record by Beyonce....

I hadn't really taken much notice of the words before - it's one of those records that actually does have words. (Rock Star is another one I like for the same reason.)

Is that really what it looks like from the other side of the fence? She makes it sound as if boys have it so easy - just roll out of bed and put on what you want, drink beer and chase after girls.

Well, I suppose it depends on what you want to put on of course. Not having much choice in clothes saves having to think.
I used to find the beer was a substitute for 'chasing girls'. 'Plan B' as a friend of mine once described it.

Perhaps it's really a case of the grass always looking greener.

By the way, have you seen the video for Katy Perry's song? Do my eyes deceive me or is that a bloke in one of the bridesmaid's dresses?

8-)

TV

2009-03-04T08:03:00.003Z

Sky 3 recently re-showed a programme called Transvestite Wives. Not a great fan of Sky, but it was on Freeview so grabbing a copy to disk was easy.
It features a number of couples who have all come to terms in one way or another with the husband's need to dress up. The words were as telling as the pictures, I thought. I found this picture of the couple who were the undoubted stars of the show on - wait for it - the web site of BBC America. I never realised there was such a thing.

If you see the programme coming around again, do make time to watch it.

BTW, Google also turned up a strange American talk show. It was hosted by a very un-funny lady who seemed to have ensnared her entire male crew into poking rather lame fun at the programme. How prejudice feeds on itself...

Bah! Humbug!

2008-12-25T15:38:00.003Z

Seasons greetings, dear Reader.

Here is my Christmas tree.

Inspired by a colleague's efforts last year I asked the spotty youth in Maplin if they had a USB-powered Christmas tree. He gave me a look that sent me scurrying apologetically for the exit. This mains-powered kit tree had to do instead, though it did attract a respectable number of derisory comments at work. 8-)

New Boots and Panties

2008-12-14T23:31:00.002Z

Well, new boots, anyway.
After dithering for too long I took the plunge and ordered a pair of dark red 'slouch' boots from Evans - this being the only place that caters for feet my size. I have wanted a pair of boots for oh so long, but the shops mostly stop at size 8. So unfair.
Thankfully the new boots feel delightful on, though they will have to wait in the cupboard for a while as the opportunities are not as frequent as one might wish. But all the sweeter for the anticipation.
I was going to insert a picture, but wouldn't you know it, the line has already been erased from their web site. (Refrains from a rant about modern retailing...)

Reality TV

2008-11-29T12:58:00.005Z

I was reassembling the bike last weekend with radio 4 on drip-feed and heard a piece about people who live a second life on the Internet. It appears that for some people it gets out of hand and ruins Real Life.

It got me wondering whether it is possible to be a virtual Tranny.
Yes, I know, reporting what happens out there in the real world is what these blogs are supposed to be about, but a surprising amount of posts seem to contain the words 'apathy' or 'its been a while'. In other words, we don't get to do our thing as often as we'd like, for many obvious reasons.

Perhaps blogging fills a gap, but it's not the Real Thing, is it?